I’ve been a dreamer all of my life.
Since I was a little girl. My parents often tell me about the time when I had just learned to talk and I told this story about a bicycle that went into the clouds. During the span of the story, I went off on some rabbit trail, told this entirely different story, but ended the whole thing with the bike coming out of the clouds. They didn’t even realize I was still telling the same story until the conclusion.
So I guess you could say I’ve been telling tales for over twenty years. And as soon as I learned how to write, I filled up notebooks with silly stories that make me cringe when I look back on them today. However, it always astounds me when I catch a glimpse of how far I’ve come.
I even found a “contract” that I wrote to myself when I was fourteen. I vowed to be a published author by my sixteenth birthday. I even dated and signed it. I guess I’m going to have to be lenient and give myself a few more years.
I started writing down my daydreams in Jr. High. By the time I was in high school I was fleshing out characters with no idea what a plot was or how to keep one in mind. I got serious about outlining when I was a senior and started keeping a jump drive of all my story ideas. 45 to be exact. And counting.
When I was in college I began writing seriously. The desperate desire to design plots, create characters, and tie words together became a hobby that stole away my weekends when all of my friends were out shopping and going to the movies. However, I didn’t pursue writing in college because something inside of me said writing wasn’t a good enough career. I needed to go big or go home. So I chose a monster career focus called Art Therapy with a double major in French, and needless to say I came home.
When I decided to focus on writing as a real career, the Lord pulled me aside immediately and spoke directly to my heart. Quietly, mind you, but directly. I felt the need to stop writing for a few months, between January of 2012 until about March, and focus on Him and what He was saying.
I felt Him teaching me about purity and romance the way He views it as opposed to the world’s definition. He touched my heart in a way that I didn’t expect, in a way that I can’t actually explain. He changed the way I looked at romance and love. He changed the way I write.
I completed my first manuscript February of 2013. Despite that I’m still unpublished, I’ve already started my next novel. I’m more serious about this one than I was about the first one, and I’m learning more about writing and the industry every day. It’s not easy, but it’s a joy that I can’t walk away from. I’ve tried. I always find myself back at my laptop with a new idea that I just have to jot down.
I’m here to say that the Lord is faithful. He has been gentle in our walk over the years, guiding me tenderly toward His plan. He’s never pulled me to a screeching halt, sent me into a tailspin, and told me I’m wrong. No, He’s gracious and merciful. I’ve never loved anything in all of existence as much as I love Him.
And I don’t mean the typical, convenient, end-of-a-phone-call “love you”. I mean I am passionately, deeply, fervently in love with Him. A quiet, simple kind of love that can be called forward by just closing my eyes and looking into His. I’m honestly not capable of this kind of love. But He is. That’s why it’s possible for me to call Him Lord.
We love Him, because He first loved us. -1 John 4:19
In the midst of this love I’ve found that He doesn’t just have our best interests in mind, He’s also got our dreams in mind.
Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. -Psalms 37:4
And He’s a King of His Word.
He [Abraham] staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what He had promised, He was able also to perform. -Romans 4:20-21
Because of Him, I start with this passion. Not writing, loved as it is by me. But my passion for the Lord and His grace. I live for Him alone. I surrender to Him in everything that I am and everything that I’ll ever be.
He’s mine, and I am called His.
For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s. -Romans 14:8