Something Stirring Beneath the Surface

Earlier I had a thought that spurred into a tweet and now has snowballed into an all out blog topic.

I’m not sure if writing is my niche or even my calling. All I know is that without it I’m exceptionally restless. #cantstayaway

Despite my daily prayers and often plea’s for confirmation, I’ve never received an undeniable sign from God that writing romantic Christian fiction is what I’m supposed to do. He hasn’t visited me in a dream and given me a solid “yes, this is it.” He hasn’t sent an angel disguised as a stranger to give me a direct answer. I haven’t even come across a verse that says love is the greatest gift–and if you’re a writer then that’s a good too.

Writing is not an easy journey. It’s not easy spending years planning, writing, editing, critiquing, editing, rereading, and editing, and that’s before the publishing process. And even if you make it to publishing, there’s a massive chance that an agent isn’t even going to get past the first paragraph of your work. It’s not easy when you wait for a reply–a rejection notice at the least–and end up getting nothing. It’s not easy being told you have potential but the editor’s need to do some rewriting before your work is ready. It’s not easy when readers tell you you’re wrong in what you’re writing and you should believe in something else. It’s not easy. And there’s very little confirmation, if any, that writing is what you’re meant for.

I’d like to think there are other writers out there, and it isn’t only me, who has doubted their work, doubted where they’re supposed to be in the world. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know.

I know that I have a yearning inside of me to write–to write anything, but mainly romance based on Christ. I know that despite that I’m not a fast writer, I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life writing. I know that when I step away from the keyboard and notebooks that it’s only a matter of days, if not hours, before I have a craving to come back and finish what I started or start what needs to be finished. I know that, inexplicably, when it comes to writing, for me there is always something stirring beneath the surface of my thoughts. Whether it be a story, a character, or a title that turns into a one hundred and twenty thousand word novel, there’s always something stirring.

And I’m certain of this. It was because of His gentle prodding in my heart that I realized my true desire for writing. I know that when I made the decision to get serious about writing romance that He pulled me aside and taught me what real love is. I know that I love Him deeply and I put Him before my writing–and if He tells me to walk away from writing, then I’ll walk away. I know that He has promised me a plan and a purpose and He’ll bring it to pass.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. -Jeremiah 29:11

How about you? Whether you pursue writing as a career or have another dream in mind, can you relate?


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